I had real difficulty writing a blog post for the last two days. What I realized that sometimes I'm regurgitating received wisdom that I haven't practiced or even tested. I'd like to stop doing that.
What writing does is force me to think for myself. It's something that both education as well as our models of media consumption don't seem to help.
Part of this introspection has been to challenge deeply held beliefs on who I am and what I do. The acquisitive mindset that is forced on us from an early age makes this hard. Most people I know are driven either by fear or by greed. "If I don't do this, these bad things might happen." "If I do this, I can become better so I can get that."
Letting go of fear and greed is, for me, a gradual process that needs continuous work. Almost everything in society is set up to encourage this acquisitive mindset. "Buy this product so you can feel better." "Read this article so you are better prepared for what is coming."
Well, I'm in open revolt to those values. The incredible freedom bestowed by relinquishing them has allowed me, for the first time in what feels like years, to look at myself and the world with a sort of piercing clarity that is gut-wrenching. But also very liberating.
What emerges is both a feeling of equanimity, but also gratitude and a deep empathy for people and things. I'm going to try and operate more from this place going forward.