I wrote about the insidious effects of being raised to seek approval this week. There is an extension of this attachment to validation, which is that we lose our ability to love.
What the media calls love, what the entertainment industry calls love, what society calls love, is attachment. You give me what I need, so I will give you what you need. If you take away your love from me, you lessen me. Oh how I hate you now!
But was that love to begin with? Anger, fear, jealousy, ... these are so present in our "special" relationships. And thus we create expectations of the other person on which we let our happiness depend. Instead of, you know, loving them.
H/t once again to Anthony de Mello.