One of my favorite tools in coaching founders is empowering questions. When presented with a challenging situation, don't try to come up with a response. Don't tell - ask. Help increase others' search space for new answers, options, possibilities.
It sounds so simple. But it's powerful.
Empowering questions are open-ended. They clarify. They challenge. They're generally future-directed, solution-oriented. They take away the feeling of victimhood that comes with hard times.
Great examples are:
- What can you do about that?
- What other choices can you make?
- What's another way to look at that?
- What did you learn from that?
- What is really bothering you about this?
- What do you need to get that done?
- How can you find out more about that?
- Where do you believe that thought comes from?
- What will you get out of that?
- How can you make that more fun?
- Why is that important to you?
- What are the benefits in that?
- How is this an opportunity?
- How do you feel about that?
- If that doesn't work, what else could you do?
- What seems to confuse you?
- What beliefs are holding you back?
- How does that fulfill your purpose?
- Where are you limiting yourself?
- How can you stretch to get there?
- If you had all the time, energy and money to achieve your goal, what would you do?
You get the picture.
To use these, you need to recognize the situation as it arises. You need to increase the time between stimulus (stressor) and your response. Awareness is the only way I've found to do that.
Awareness, awareness, awareness! Tony de Mello was right.
P.S. Many of these questions are from the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)'s manuals.